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ADAM SANDLER
THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU |
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| | Reviews: 82 |
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| Average Rating: 9.05 |
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Toll Booth Willie
Performed by Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Tim Meadows, David Spade, Steve Koren, Tim Herlihy, and Margaret Ruden
[Car approaches]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.";
M1: ";Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!";
M1: ";Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!";
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!";
[Another car approaches]
M2: ";Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?";
M2: ";Oh, great, great. How much?";
Toll Booth Willie: ";The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.";
M2: ";That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?";
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger! Whadya think of that ass fuck!?";
[Another car approaches]
F1: ";Hi Willie.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?";
F1: ";Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Well I know my way around New England. I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?";
F1: ";Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick.";
[Drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: ";You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!";
[Another car approaches]
M3: ";Hey Willie.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Hey, how are ya?";
M3: ";Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.";
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Dah, you fuckin' prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!";
[Another car approaches]
Bishop Nelson: ";Hello Willie. Good to see you.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day.";
Bishop Nelson: ";Hey, well I do my best.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.";
Bishop Nelson: ";Dollar twenty-five, Willie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?";
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush! It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!";
[Another car approaches]
M5: ";Hey!";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Well hey!";
M5: ";Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?";
[Pays toll and drives off]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard! Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!";
[Another car approaches]
F2: ";Hi.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Oh, hi. How are ya?";
F2: ";Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?";
Toll Booth Willie: ";For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five.";
F2: ";Here ya go.";
[Pays toll]
F2: ";Thank you.";
[Begins to drive off]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?";
F2: ";Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.";
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
Toll Booth Willie: ";And here ya are.";
F2: ";Umm, do you think you could sign it?";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Oh, uh.. sign it?";
F2: ";Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?";
[Signing receipt]
F2: ";Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand.";
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!"; [Opens the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
Toll Booth Willie: ";Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!";
M6: ";Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!";
M7: ";Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
dried up stinky dick licker.";
Toll Booth Willie: ";Why you fuckin' pricks. I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying! When this fuckin' leg heals, I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
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