BLOODHOUND GANG Song Lyrics

Album:
"One Fierce Beer Coaster"

1) Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny
2) Lift Your Head Up High
3) Fire Water Burn
4) I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
5) Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?
6) It's Tricky
7) Asleep At The Wheel
8) Shut Up
9) Your Only Friends Are Make Believe
10) Boom
11) Going Nowhere Slow
12) Reflections of Remoh
13) Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)

Album:
"Hooray For Boobies"

1) I hope You die
2) The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope
3) Mama's Boy
4) Three Point One Four
5) Mope
6) Yummy Down On This
7) The Ballad Of Chasey Lain
8) RSVP
9) Magna Cum Nada
10) The Bad Touch
11) That Cough came with a prize
12) Take The Long Way Home
13) Hell Yeah
14) Turn Clyde
15) This is Stupid
16) A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying
17) The 10 Coolest Things About New Jersey
18) Along Comes Mary

Album:
"Use Your Fingers"

1) Rip Taylor Is God
2) We Are The Knuckleheads
3) Legend In My Spare Time
4) B.H.G.P.S.A.
5) Mama Say
6) Kids In America
7) You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
8) The Evils Of Placenta Hustling
9) One Way
10) Shitty Record Offer
11) Go Down
12) Earlameyer The Butt Pirate
13) No Rest For The Wicked
14) She Ain't Got No Legs
15) We Like Meat
16) Coo Coo Ca Choo
17) Rang Dang
18) Nightmare At The Apollo
19) K.I.D.S. Incorporated

Album:
"Hefty Fine"

1) Strictly For The Tardcore
2) Balls Out
3) Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
4) I'm The Least You Could Do
5) Farting With A Walkman On
6) Ralph Wiggum
7) Something Diabolical
8) Overheard In A Wawa Parking Lot
9) Pennsylvania
10) Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss
11) No Hard Feelings

BLOODHOUND GANG
ONE FIERCE BEER COASTER

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

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